How to be happy all day long

The road to happiness is no secret. It's quite easy going there, how to stay long is the problem. The famous American poet Robert Frost wrote, “Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.” While this is a beautiful maxim illustrating the character of the human condition, there are several concrete strategies to make happiness go the distance. How do you achieve happiness, the kind that lasts all day? Be happily in love round the clock, and here are the things you can do:

Morning

If you are jolted out of bed by your alarm clock, you are already starting your day stressed which means anything can set you off. Hit the snooze button. Just a few minutes more in bed and you wake up gently and in control while you prepare yourself emotionally. Savor these “stolen moments.”

Eat a balanced breakfast of complex carbs and lean protein — food and mood go together. Change your seat at the kitchen table to see things from a fresh perspective. Don’t eat on the run!

For the daily commute, car or public transportation, vary your route just a little. Nothing deadens the heart like routine; wake up your spirit. While you are at it, get off a stop earlier or park your car a few blocks away to reap the mood-elevating benefits of an outdoor walk. Use your daily commute as an opportunity to meditate. You can meditate anywhere as long as you are aware of your surroundings.

Imagine your forehead, the center of your inspiration, as a deep blue; your pure heart is white and your belly is gold because you are a golden child. Now align the three colors vertically, blue, white and gold like a traffic light and you will feel emotionally centered and in focus especially during rush hour traffic. Note: if you are driving, do not close your eyes unless you are parked! Greet people at the train station, school bus stop or in your office building. Happiness is propelled by numbers. When you are acknowledged, you feel validated and energized. Pay it forward.

Afternoon

Keep in mind the correlation between food and mood. Eat a balanced lunch. Exercise during half of your lunch break to move stress out of your body and increase focus to avoid that afternoon slump. You can walk, stretch or do exercises that use the body’s own resistance. Your ability to find solutions will improve.

De-clutter every afternoon. The day’s chaos accumulates to weigh you down. Clear out your desk, your fridge, a drawer, the mail or your pocket book to liberate your energy. Have a late afternoon healthy snack to keep energy levels at peak performance. Drink a hot liquid like herbal tea to signal relaxation. You can’t gulp a hot liquid.

Evening

Unwind and enjoy your personal space with happiness rituals. To help you unwind before sleep and release toxins: First put your feet in a pot of hot water (a temperature you can tolerate) for one minute and then immediately place them in a pot of cold water for thirty seconds. Repeat this cycle 3X. This hot/ cold treatment releases toxins from your feet — the body’s foundation. The heat circulates the blood; the cold water reduces the swelling. The cold pulls out toxins in the contractive phase and the heat brings blood and nutrients in the expansive phase.

Have a treat right before bed — you won’t overeat because you will be going to sleep and you will feel rewarded. To unwind before sleep: instead of that endless to-do list playing in your head, how about a “Look what I did today list!” Sweet dreams…

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WOMEN: SHARE YOUR FANTASIES

When sex is concerned, women don’t have it easy… generally. Families still believe in ascertaining a measure of ‘restraint’ in their girls. It’s no wonder then that a budding number of females grow up defiant, swift to flaunt their sexual proportion. However, most of them who were brought up to fit into the mainstream, struggle to express their sexuality. Definitely, it’s so tough and risky expressing yourself when you don’t feel comfortable.

Creativity
Men are unsurprisingly more vigorous and creative where sex is concerned, and are drawn to women who are also imaginative. So, when women are in a relationship, the pressure mounts on them to express their sexuality. This means feeling confident to take the front seat in their physical connection, or initiating sex when they desire it, or knowing precisely what they want from it. This may sound ‘too daring’ to many. But, isn’t sexual energy all about creativity? Expressing sexuality is all about displaying a treasured and hidden part of your personality. If you feel unable to express your sexuality, or hold yourself back out of fear, you’re effectively putting a ‘spanner in the wheels’ in enjoying an essential part of your physical requirements. If ladies do not express themselves and their desires, how will their men know what is going on in their minds before, during and after sex? Men are not a mind-readers, nor do they think like women. Since every woman has a different set of values and expectations from intimacy, they cannot resort to using a manual to know what women want from sex. So, given that a fulfilling sexual relationship is not created by default, it becomes all the more imperative for women to communicate with their partners.

Expression of Needs
The best way to successfully be in touch is to know what your physical desires are. Make an effort to learn more about your sexual needs. What pleases you? What moves make your body feel comfortable? This awareness will not only accentuate you being an active sexual partner, but will help you to be comfortable with your body. Your being at home with your inner feelings and bodily sensations helps you physically bond with your partner and experience sexual gratification. Expressing your sexuality is absolutely not limited to just sharing your likes, but also telling him what you don’t like. Most significantly, if a certain movement causes discomfort, don’t compel yourself to go on. Don’t be too eager to please. Needless to say, you will stop enjoying sex, and your partner will sense your withdrawal and might misunderstand it.

Feedback
Talking is the most understandable form of communication. But in this regard too, girls differ from men. Men don’t take hints, nor do they understand round- about sentences. Actually, most men use report speaking style, while women tend to use rapport speaking. Rapport speaking is having a meaningful conversation about the relationship, even if it includes sharing vague thoughts and ideas. The bottom line is that if you are sharing your needs verbally; tell your man exactly what you want. Eye contact and sounds [obviously expressed during sex] are other ways to communicate. Help him by giving him feedback when he gets it right, or worse, when he doesn’t. If you’re not comfortable talking in the bedroom, choose another location, perhaps during a walk or over a cup of coffee, to share your intimate thoughts.

Mutual Respect
For women, sex is in no way only about physical desire. Women need to feel an emotional union prior to having sex, because they need to feel fully protected with their partners. If you desire a healthy sex life your relationship must be anchored on mutual acceptance, compassion, patience and respect for each other. If you find it tough to accept any aspect of sex, then your partner should let you take your time to feel ready for it. This may entail going slow with sex and more than a fair measure of mutual respect. Desist from the blame game, or criticism even if you feel discontented. Bear in mind—the idea is to communicate honestly, and work through the barriers you encounter, not find fault. So check your relationship for its ‘values’. Work towards practicing these as the best way to inspire your partner to do the same.

Change Acceptance
Your sexual needs are bound to change over time and at different stages of your life. Many married women who face menopause, for example, will have different concerns than women who are just married or are pregnant. Just as you experience other aspects of your relationship transform with time, so will your desire for sex. It may grow or become less intense or important to your relationship. Feel free to converse about these changes with your partner. It is normal to face an impasse in your sexual relationship especially with a hectic daily routine; preoccupation with your career which takes you home completely exhausted every evening to more chores. Infuse energy and sparkle in your sex life with visual sexual stimuli in the form of books, movies or clothes (or no clothes maybe).

Sharing Fantasies
A new setting, timing or lighting in your bedroom may also rouse your senses. Sharing your sexual fantasies may open up new avenues too. Men love women who are assertive about what they want in bed. It’s important for you to accept that it is healthy for you to express your passion, fantasies and desires. Rest assured your man will like it. The more you explore and innovate, the more you will discover each other. Intimacy is not something that should be done to you; it is a two-way lane. So don’t skip doing your bit to enrich your sex life. Enjoy the discovery.

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