When sex is concerned, women don’t have it easy… generally. Families still believe in ascertaining a measure of ‘restraint’ in their girls. It’s no wonder then that a budding number of females grow up defiant, swift to flaunt their sexual proportion. However, most of them who were brought up to fit into the mainstream, struggle to express their sexuality. Definitely, it’s so tough and risky expressing yourself when you don’t feel comfortable.
Creativity
Men are unsurprisingly more vigorous and creative where sex is concerned, and are drawn to women who are also imaginative. So, when women are in a relationship, the pressure mounts on them to express their sexuality. This means feeling confident to take the front seat in their physical connection, or initiating sex when they desire it, or knowing precisely what they want from it. This may sound ‘too daring’ to many. But, isn’t sexual energy all about creativity? Expressing sexuality is all about displaying a treasured and hidden part of your personality. If you feel unable to express your sexuality, or hold yourself back out of fear, you’re effectively putting a ‘spanner in the wheels’ in enjoying an essential part of your physical requirements. If ladies do not express themselves and their desires, how will their men know what is going on in their minds before, during and after sex? Men are not a mind-readers, nor do they think like women. Since every woman has a different set of values and expectations from intimacy, they cannot resort to using a manual to know what women want from sex. So, given that a fulfilling sexual relationship is not created by default, it becomes all the more imperative for women to communicate with their partners.
Expression of Needs
The best way to successfully be in touch is to know what your physical desires are. Make an effort to learn more about your sexual needs. What pleases you? What moves make your body feel comfortable? This awareness will not only accentuate you being an active sexual partner, but will help you to be comfortable with your body. Your being at home with your inner feelings and bodily sensations helps you physically bond with your partner and experience sexual gratification. Expressing your sexuality is absolutely not limited to just sharing your likes, but also telling him what you don’t like. Most significantly, if a certain movement causes discomfort, don’t compel yourself to go on. Don’t be too eager to please. Needless to say, you will stop enjoying sex, and your partner will sense your withdrawal and might misunderstand it.
Feedback
Talking is the most understandable form of communication. But in this regard too, girls differ from men. Men don’t take hints, nor do they understand round- about sentences. Actually, most men use report speaking style, while women tend to use rapport speaking. Rapport speaking is having a meaningful conversation about the relationship, even if it includes sharing vague thoughts and ideas. The bottom line is that if you are sharing your needs verbally; tell your man exactly what you want. Eye contact and sounds [obviously expressed during sex] are other ways to communicate. Help him by giving him feedback when he gets it right, or worse, when he doesn’t. If you’re not comfortable talking in the bedroom, choose another location, perhaps during a walk or over a cup of coffee, to share your intimate thoughts.
Mutual Respect
For women, sex is in no way only about physical desire. Women need to feel an emotional union prior to having sex, because they need to feel fully protected with their partners. If you desire a healthy sex life your relationship must be anchored on mutual acceptance, compassion, patience and respect for each other. If you find it tough to accept any aspect of sex, then your partner should let you take your time to feel ready for it. This may entail going slow with sex and more than a fair measure of mutual respect. Desist from the blame game, or criticism even if you feel discontented. Bear in mind—the idea is to communicate honestly, and work through the barriers you encounter, not find fault. So check your relationship for its ‘values’. Work towards practicing these as the best way to inspire your partner to do the same.
Change Acceptance
Your sexual needs are bound to change over time and at different stages of your life. Many married women who face menopause, for example, will have different concerns than women who are just married or are pregnant. Just as you experience other aspects of your relationship transform with time, so will your desire for sex. It may grow or become less intense or important to your relationship. Feel free to converse about these changes with your partner. It is normal to face an impasse in your sexual relationship especially with a hectic daily routine; preoccupation with your career which takes you home completely exhausted every evening to more chores. Infuse energy and sparkle in your sex life with visual sexual stimuli in the form of books, movies or clothes (or no clothes maybe).
Sharing Fantasies
A new setting, timing or lighting in your bedroom may also rouse your senses. Sharing your sexual fantasies may open up new avenues too. Men love women who are assertive about what they want in bed. It’s important for you to accept that it is healthy for you to express your passion, fantasies and desires. Rest assured your man will like it. The more you explore and innovate, the more you will discover each other. Intimacy is not something that should be done to you; it is a two-way lane. So don’t skip doing your bit to enrich your sex life. Enjoy the discovery.
Creativity
Men are unsurprisingly more vigorous and creative where sex is concerned, and are drawn to women who are also imaginative. So, when women are in a relationship, the pressure mounts on them to express their sexuality. This means feeling confident to take the front seat in their physical connection, or initiating sex when they desire it, or knowing precisely what they want from it. This may sound ‘too daring’ to many. But, isn’t sexual energy all about creativity? Expressing sexuality is all about displaying a treasured and hidden part of your personality. If you feel unable to express your sexuality, or hold yourself back out of fear, you’re effectively putting a ‘spanner in the wheels’ in enjoying an essential part of your physical requirements. If ladies do not express themselves and their desires, how will their men know what is going on in their minds before, during and after sex? Men are not a mind-readers, nor do they think like women. Since every woman has a different set of values and expectations from intimacy, they cannot resort to using a manual to know what women want from sex. So, given that a fulfilling sexual relationship is not created by default, it becomes all the more imperative for women to communicate with their partners.
Expression of Needs
The best way to successfully be in touch is to know what your physical desires are. Make an effort to learn more about your sexual needs. What pleases you? What moves make your body feel comfortable? This awareness will not only accentuate you being an active sexual partner, but will help you to be comfortable with your body. Your being at home with your inner feelings and bodily sensations helps you physically bond with your partner and experience sexual gratification. Expressing your sexuality is absolutely not limited to just sharing your likes, but also telling him what you don’t like. Most significantly, if a certain movement causes discomfort, don’t compel yourself to go on. Don’t be too eager to please. Needless to say, you will stop enjoying sex, and your partner will sense your withdrawal and might misunderstand it.
Feedback
Talking is the most understandable form of communication. But in this regard too, girls differ from men. Men don’t take hints, nor do they understand round- about sentences. Actually, most men use report speaking style, while women tend to use rapport speaking. Rapport speaking is having a meaningful conversation about the relationship, even if it includes sharing vague thoughts and ideas. The bottom line is that if you are sharing your needs verbally; tell your man exactly what you want. Eye contact and sounds [obviously expressed during sex] are other ways to communicate. Help him by giving him feedback when he gets it right, or worse, when he doesn’t. If you’re not comfortable talking in the bedroom, choose another location, perhaps during a walk or over a cup of coffee, to share your intimate thoughts.
Mutual Respect
For women, sex is in no way only about physical desire. Women need to feel an emotional union prior to having sex, because they need to feel fully protected with their partners. If you desire a healthy sex life your relationship must be anchored on mutual acceptance, compassion, patience and respect for each other. If you find it tough to accept any aspect of sex, then your partner should let you take your time to feel ready for it. This may entail going slow with sex and more than a fair measure of mutual respect. Desist from the blame game, or criticism even if you feel discontented. Bear in mind—the idea is to communicate honestly, and work through the barriers you encounter, not find fault. So check your relationship for its ‘values’. Work towards practicing these as the best way to inspire your partner to do the same.
Change Acceptance
Your sexual needs are bound to change over time and at different stages of your life. Many married women who face menopause, for example, will have different concerns than women who are just married or are pregnant. Just as you experience other aspects of your relationship transform with time, so will your desire for sex. It may grow or become less intense or important to your relationship. Feel free to converse about these changes with your partner. It is normal to face an impasse in your sexual relationship especially with a hectic daily routine; preoccupation with your career which takes you home completely exhausted every evening to more chores. Infuse energy and sparkle in your sex life with visual sexual stimuli in the form of books, movies or clothes (or no clothes maybe).
Sharing Fantasies
A new setting, timing or lighting in your bedroom may also rouse your senses. Sharing your sexual fantasies may open up new avenues too. Men love women who are assertive about what they want in bed. It’s important for you to accept that it is healthy for you to express your passion, fantasies and desires. Rest assured your man will like it. The more you explore and innovate, the more you will discover each other. Intimacy is not something that should be done to you; it is a two-way lane. So don’t skip doing your bit to enrich your sex life. Enjoy the discovery.
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